Wednesday, August 07, 2019

Space X Launch Fails After Rocket Bounces Off Firmament

I think I worried my family last night by laughing so hard at this story that they thought I was going to herniate.  Those of you who follow the news know that Babylon Bee is in a tussle with Snopes about whether or not their stories constitute “fake news.”  Anyone with two grey cells to rub together knows the difference, including Snopes, but they are trying to get the Bee de-platformed because quite a few of the Bee's stories point out the idiocy of some of their favorite political positions.

Anyway, the Bee is not above poking fun at just about anything in the Christian world and I missed this story when it came out.
A SpaceX launch ended in tragedy Thursday as the rocket intended to carry a cellular satellite into orbit around the earth bounced off the firmament described in the opening chapters of Genesis, sources confirmed.

The rocket accelerated higher and higher above the flat earth and toward the sun and moon a mere 3,000 miles away before suddenly bouncing off the glass-like dome containing the earth.

“We totally didn’t see this coming,” a SpaceX launch expert told reporters moments after the crash. “Where we seem to have gone wrong is in using NASA’s fake globe model rather than employing flat-earth models drawn by conspiracy theorists operating off ultra-literalist readings of the King James Bible.”

“We won’t make that mistake again, I tell you what,” he added.
They manage to skewer the literal reading of Genesis and the biblical evidence for a flat earth in one post.  Many Christian writers, including Phil Senter and John Walton, have written about the language describing the firmament and have argued (persuasively, in my opinion) that it can only be read as a hard dome because that is how the ANE people saw it. 

Humor at its best.

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